I Love You but Goodbye

It started with a text where we became good friends,
A couple of months, our communication were cut.
I have said something that hurt your ego,
But your compassionate heart forgives me and tied us as one.

We became lovers and it started like a seed,
Days, weeks, months, and a year passes by,
You and I fought for what we believe.
Trials and problems came that set us apart,
Until the day came, that the knot that bind us as one was broken.

A month after our break-up passed by, hatred reigns in our hearts
A couple of months and we became "friends".
Until the day came, that I have realized everything
I left a promise in myself;
"I'll let you feel how stupid you are for hurting and leaving me behind."

The fact that I let you feel my pure love and care,
I loved you more than my life, gave everything and put my pride down.
But looked what you had done?
You stroked a deep scar in the center of my heart where it beats for you.

Every time I saw you and talked with you,
I have a difficulty stopping myself, saying that I still love you.
Because I know in my heart you'll just laugh at it and hurt me more than before.

I longed to touch, hug the body and to kiss the lips that was mine before,
But whenever I got tempted
I can't stop my heart to beat again for you.
Leaving you gives me pain, but I have to do so









When I'm about to close my eyes to end my day
My tears fall down and wish you could be mine again.
A part of me convinces myself, the promise that won't come true
The promise of "Till death do us part"

I wish that I'm away from you,
And leave the love and hate I feel for you,
For me to free myself from the imprisonment which I called "My Love for you"
Now it's clear for me that all I need is to have time and space.

My beloved one, you thought me so many things,
That changes my whole identity.
Now it's time for me to take my revenge!
I'll let you feel a million times the pain that you have given me!

To the person who causes me much pain,
I just want to let you know that I still love you
And is still waits for your return.
But now is tired and hopeless for our love.

By this time, I'm sorry but I have to do these things,
I'll let you feel the rudeness treatment you deserve.
Now my plans are in the process,
I don’t know what it would bring me.

Thank you for the love and care,
My love that hurt me so much,
You taught me many things,
That changes my entire life.
I love you but good bye.

nuptial of my x boyfriend's sister

it was october 18,2007..when i was a bridesmaid of my friends's nuptial sheila who is the older sister of my x boyfriend. ako pa nga gumawa ng wedding invitation nila eh..hehehe bait ko noh???hmmp taz masaya rin naman yung event na yun lalo na yung pictorials na tinawag na ng organizer yung family ng girl for the picture taking..syempre di ako tumayo kasi di nga naman ako kamag.anak kaso hinanap ako ng mother ng x ko eh.kasi sama daw ako.hehe..diba flatering man yun??Taz sa reception na mas naging close ako sa mga pinsan ng x ko kasi sila lagi ang kasama ko for the whole event.. sila [sanny val, saint. jesthony, albert, erik and dave] taz yung nasa bahay na kami ng x ko doon mas nakatuwaan pa...mas marami na akong nakilala na mga pinsan ng x ko...sila john rey, kuya rommel,,, ang nakakatawa pa nga eh niyaya ako ni kuya rommel to have a sweet dance with him taz un pumayag ako..whle we are dancing si arnel na x ko di makatingin sa amin but he is laughing...inggit siguro suya???Hehehe=p kaya ginawa ko after my dance with kuya rommel kinunchaba ko ang pinsan nila na si sanny val na kami rin ni arnel sayaw..kaya yun nagsayawan kami dalwa ng sweet dance...taz ung mga pinsan niya sige na sigaw kasi kinikilig kaya yung mga tao na nag.iinuman sa labas nanood ng tv sa sala tumingin sa amin..hehehe taz sigawan na silang lahat..taz while dancing nakita ko sila auntie arlene and uncle romy na nanonood sa amin habang sumaway and that moment i saw aunt arlene smile and laugh as well as uncle romy whistle...eh last ko nakita na ganun kasaya sila nung kami pa ng anak nila..kasi ba naman nakita talaga nila na mahal ko ang anak nila..kaso ang ginawa sa akin..iniwan ako..hmmpp...anyway that's life..taz after we finished our dance si arnel pumunta na ng kwarto kasi nahiya siya..hehe...the end
ako pa nga nagdrive ng motor nila pauwi sa amin kasi yung mga pinsan ni arnel na dapat maghahatid sa akin ay lasing....hehehe
may mg apicture pa nga ako sa cp ko eh...remembrance ko na lang yun ..kasi dat nyt i am so happy...

i got operated on my appendix

it was november 08,2007 when i was diagnosed and got operated on my appendix...hmmmpp..matibay naman ako eh nakayanan ko ang operation..kaso medyo natagalan ako na makalakad kasi mahina talaga katawan ko eh..dami ngang bumisita sa akin eh..anjan ung sila MP gruop ung Padios family, [saint, albert, sanny val, jesthony, raffy, erik,] tsaka bumisita rin nga pala x boyfriend ko si arnel pati rin yung parents niya na sila uncle romy at auntie arlene bumisita rin..syempre di nawawala ung bestfriend ko na si pauline..dumalaw rin sila mam niva, ate april, kuya jonathan, kuya richard, mam gem...
taz ung crush ko na nagaserve ng food kinuha no. ko nagtetext na nga kami ngayon eh.hehehe

its so unfair

its been 1 year and 9 months since the last time i fall in love with a guy but unfortunately we didnot last.. we ended up last april 11, 2007 and now its been 5months when we broke up with each other,,,..
to tell to you honestly guys SUTORS came into my life but no one of them i fall in love with..may be i am still inlove with my x boy friend that time but now i am ready to fall in love again....BUT
but why is it so unfair that i am falling with a man who is commited to a gir.. (not to a married man but a young man who has a girl friend) i dont know whats with him that i easily like him but to find out that he has a girl friend and he is deeply in love with his girl..sad to hear right??But that the truth..yeah it hurts...but i have to accept the reality.... but despite of this he told me that he loves me and i wish it is true,...kaso nga lang di pwedeng maging kami and ayaw ko rin namang maging reason sa break up nila ng gf niya...may be the best thing to do for now is to let the guy go and try to search for someone that is mean for me...may be this is not yet the time for me to engage into a relationship again....
pero ok lang as long as di ako masasaktan di gaya ng dati,,hirap pa namang bumangon..well i guest enjoy na lang muna ako sa pagiging single...hehehe

a week of celebration for my 18th bday

long before my dad died, started to become not interested for my debut to come but living in the real world i cant escape the reality that all of us will be celebrating our 18th bday right???? i dont have a big party but i considered it as the longest birthday celebration i ever had....
SEPTEMBER 10, 2007
I went to Gaisano MAll to buy myself a set of clothes... it only happens once in a blue moon in my life becuase i am not fun of buying new clothes for myself. of course its branded...hehehe
SEPTEMBER 11, 2007
it's my brother's birthday.. so i brought him a cake, and two pants and a polo shirt for him as our presence. oh by the way i almost forgot my bestfriend iah came..he ate in our house and went home at around 10pm
SEPTEMBER 12, 2007
I am with my friends we ate at BJ and Beekookai...i am not sure about the spelling,... my guests are {Alwin, Novie, Rachelle , April, Ivan, Hannah, Jovi, RJ, Sam, Grace, Hashim, Leslie, Eric, Joycee, Allyssa, Billy Boy}
SEPTEMBER 13, 2007
Pauline and I were together...
SEPTEMBER 14, 2007
I am with Auntie Arlene and Uncle Romy, we ate at Mandarin
SEPTEMBER 15, 2007
I have my pictorials at PErfect Image, Pauline and i ateour lunch together with Mr and Mrs. Gabo and of course I am with my family..i failed to go and visit my father because i got sick
SEPTEMBER 16, 2007
THere was a celebration in our house and i do have lot of visitors..actually na short nga kami sa food eh..pano ba namn kasi di ko ineexpect na maraming aspirant pala ang pupunta... my guest are {Eldie, Louie, Raymund, REm, Aldous, Efren, Alem, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, JEster, Ash, Ismael. Ivy, Quenny, Grace, KAtherine, MArvin, John, RAp, Glen, Charles, Liza, Jennifer, JAmees, Uncle PEter, Auntie FEly, Ahia Ron, Autie TEry , April, Rachelle, and a lot more} at siyempre di rin nman magpapahuli ang best friend ko na si JOSIAH ung tol ko...na dumating na nang past 9pm..taz andun man rin si ARNEL three times ngang pumunta sa Rosario eh.kaso ayaw niya talagang pumasok at kumain nag.away pa nga kami eh...any way ak lang un ganun talaga yun KJ kasi..parang wala kaming pinagsamahan..kainis!!! pero ok lang kasi tinulungan niya man akong maghanap sa kanila JESTER And ASH nagbackride nga ako sa kanya sa motor nila eh..taz ung nagsabi ako na sa kanto nalang ako magbaba ewan ko kung bat bigla siyang bumait sa aking kasi ihatid na lang eaw niya ako..hehehe kahit papano dba magkasama parin kani...kung ang ate pa nga nya parang di naniniwala na friends na lang kami ni arnel kasi kapag magkasama kami nag,aaway bata parin taz nagbabackride pa ako sa kanya kapag may kailangan si arnel pumunta sa kin ganun rin nmn ako sa aknya pero madalang lang talaga...well siguro nga nakimutan na ang past and now we are good friends na ulit and sa tingin ko un lng muna sa ngayon ang mahalaga..come what may nalang muna..hehe

THE PICTURES OF MY BIRTHDAY WILL BE POST AFTER I FINISH MAKING MY PORTFOLIO...HEHEHEHE

my x boyfriend? my new bestfriend?

its been three years when the last time we've been together... He is my x boyfriend when i was in high school.. one day, wgen pauline and I were on our way home when a guy take a ride on the same jeepney we were riding. as the guy take his seat i have revognized him and he is JOSIAH BULNES.. and i dont know if it is an accident or not but the jeepney stops and it run out of fuels in its tank.. and the three of us walk from Lagao roundball going to our own homes. and we started texting each other but not as often as before and the next time we see each other was this month last SEptember 07 and 08 2007 if i were not mistaken..while talking with him i cant stop myself but to cry and after i have told the things that bothers me and before he left he gave me a hug and that hug gives me the strenght and courage not to take another risk with arnel... Y? jos told me because it would become harder for me to stand again after that failure...and i guest his right. and after that night. in the following day here i am standing strong and might... overcoming the pains that i have received 5 months ago...

taking a risk is not that easy

RISKTo laugh is – to risk appearing the fool. To weep is – to risk appearing sentimental. To reach out for another is – to risk involvement. To expose feelings is – to risk exposing your true self. To place your ideas before the crowd is – to risk their loss. To love is – to risk not being loved in return. To live is – to risk dying. To hope is – to risk despair. To try is – to risk failure.But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love – LIVE. Chained by his certitude, he is a slave, he has forfeited freedom.Only a person who risks can be free!
U? ARE YOU NOT AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK?

my saddest birthday is near approaching

this year would be my 18th year living in this ambiguous creation of God...
Sept 15 was the day when i was delived by my mom in the real world. its a great thing of course but this year would be the saddest. Y? because this day SEPTEMBER 15 2007 is the event that my dad promised me to have my debut celebrated. i dont care if we will only cook few as long as my father is the one to prepare for my event... umasa ako na maghahanda kami kahit konte lang kaso namatay na papa ko kahit ngayon masasabi naming may pera kami at kaya ng maghanda mas pipiliin ko nalng na walang handa kasi di rin namn matutupad ni papa promise nya..n how can my 18 dances be done na wala na ung first done ko diba??? and eto na rin yung araw na kung kailan matatapos na ang paghihintay ko.. na sisimulan na ulit ang bagong simula o chapter ng buhay ko..ang tuluyang pagtalikod sa nakaraan at haharapin ang bukas ng walang bakas ng pag.aaalinlangan

10 STEPS ON HOW TO BECOME A GAME MASTER
YOU???DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A GAME MASTER???? HERES HOW....

1. talk to a lot of people with opposite sex if you are a straight man/ woman

2. make friends with them

3. choose a target... see to it that it is your type or someone who you can easily go with to make your plans successful....(play with them)

4. go with that person as possible as you can

5. talk to him/her the things that makes him/her comfortable to talk with you

6. ask him about the things that gvies him /her pain and try to make him/her comfort....(try to get his/her heart by comforting him)

7. be nice and sweet to him/her often

8. tell him/her that no matter what happens you will always at his/her side

9. look for a chance to tell him that you love him/her

10. and when you think he/she likes you..break his heartwell,..

those written above are the things i have observed from those person who i noticed that has have this personalities... if i am going to rate myself from this 10 mattes..i am up in number 9...after saying that i love him i am doing everything to make his heart mine forever..but unfortunately they break my heart and left me in one side with out any hesitations...i am not only refering to my x boyfriends but also to my friends..you know what sometimes, i can't help myself to think that people around me who i prefer to categorized as "MY FRIENDS" are those people who are only nice to me whenever they need me, but when they don't need me they just left me and ignore me with out any hesitations...GRRH SHIT THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAS THIS KIND OF ATTITUDES....now that i know them, next time i will never lend my hands to them, but instead i will be turning back and let them drown..and whenever they will call my name,,,sorry my dear i will cover my both ears and run as far as i can so that i will never hear them calling my name....so if you are one of those people that has a personality like this..CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE NOW BECAUSE IT IS NOT A GOOD ATTITUDE AND DONT FORGET THERE IS A KARMA..!!!!

i hate them!!

grrhh,!!!! i do really hate those people.. pinagkakaisahan nila akong lahat...eh kung sila kaya ang paglaruan ko???? kala mo naman kung sinong mga gwapo..dah!!maxadong common ang mga mukha nila..kahit crush ko ung isa pero dahil sa ugali niyang nakapakayabang.dahh!!! di bale nalang ..nakakairita siya sobra... taz alam nilang may reporting kami kahit presence lang sana nila ok na sa akin kasi ako ang gumawa lahat ng reporting namin kso wala...thank God nalang kasi irarate ko sila tingnan natin i guess fare naman diba kung bibigyan ko sila ng zero???kasi wala namn silang ginawa taz wala pa talaga sila!!!ang nakakinis lang talaga ung si jeffrey ako pa talaga ung tinarayan niya akala mo naman kung sinong magaling eh wala nman palang binatbat sa katarayan ko...no match talaga as in....taz akala mo kung sinong may magandang ugali na dapt na igalang at dapat sundin ang mga commands niya eh siya na nga ang nakikiusap eh siay pa ung mapagmataas..grrrrrhh!!!! taz makawala raw ako ng ganang katext eh akala mo naman kung sino eh hindi naman siya yung katext ko....taz as in hinarap ko tlaga siya kasi raw di niya ako kilala edi nagpakilala ako kala niya natatakot ako sa kanya...tigasin ata toh..wala ata akong kinakatakutan

the time is over

MAY 11, 2007 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
it was the day that i hated most!!! first..it was the first death anniversary of my father and yet my dead line of waitinfg arnel to come back to me..yes i do..but since there no development at all now i am much convince that we will not be together anymore. i waited until 11:59pm any text from him that would give me a sign but there is no signs at all...
i started my day waking up too early not my usual wake up call . last night (may 10, 2007) i made a letter that i put inside a bottle of wine..there, wrutten all my heart aches and experiences with my ex.and there i said goodbye..together with my best friend we went to a brach near our place to throw that bottle in the sea. i got wet because i get the bottle from the sea to throw it again and when i have seen my bottle far from anyone we go to school . you know while watching my bottle swimming away from me.my heart feels so heavy that i feel like there is something inside me that was lost. it seems llike i wanted to jump in the sea and swim going to my bottle to get it.but i did not do it because my exam is important than it. and i know letting go is the best thing that i should do....anyway god loves me so much,while taking my examination i was not bothered about that bottle.
during lunch time there are people who texted me and asked them where they got my number and they told me they got it from the letter that i wrote inside the bottle..the sad thing is the one who found my bottle lives here in gensan.nakakainis kasi ayaw talagang lumayo ng bote sa akin!!
in the afternoon, i went to my father's tomb to visit him and have prayers for him..there i cried much..because i miss my father so much and also it is the end of my waiting.
in the evening my bestfriend and her boyfriend broke up..kung ang reason ng broke up namin ng ex ko ay mababaw mas mababaw pa ang sa kanila...anyway im sure magkakabalikan rin naman sila

may 26, JETSO SUMMER FEST'07

the day has come....JETSO SUMMER FEST NAH!! eto na ung event na pinaghahandaan namin ng mga officer..since baguhan palang ako at di ko pa alam ang pwedeng mangyari at president pa ako..pressure talaga..pero naging successful naman ung mga event..meron nga lang mga bagay na sumabit but as a whole ok ang summerfest..
kaso umiyak ako sa galit kasi may mga salita ako kay bro. mark na di ko natupad...at nagflashback ang galit ko sa ex ko kasi ganun xa na tao..and ayoko maging ganun ako..ung papunta palang nga ako eh may mga question na sa mind ko whatif di ako tumawag sa kanya kami pa kaya hanggang ngayon??ako parin ba kaya ang pinagsasabihan niya ng iloveyou at di ung bagong gf niya ngayon???mga tanong na nagpapagulo s aheart and mind ko...but i have to omir those questions..kaya ang sinasabi ko nalang ngayon sa sarili ko enough reason na yung mas pinili niya nag kanyang mga friends over me..at tama xa iba ako sa mga kaibigan niya,,ngayon alam lo na ang meaning nun...ma mataas ung level ng love niya for his friends that i...unfaire diba????un kuay umiyak ako sa harap ni te april sa harap ni bro mark...pero di kao umiyak sa best freind ko kasi napagdadaraanan niya ngayon ang mga nangyayari sa akin before..and she's doing the same mistake na ginawa ko..keso kagaya nga talaga siya sa akin..ayaw rin makinig ang tigas tigas ng ulo..but because of her sa mga nangyayari sa kanya ngayon...narerealyse ko na dahan dahan na ang tanga tanga ko pala nun..at kung gagawin ko ang dinidikta ngayon ng aking puso masasabi ko na talaga I AM THE MOST STUPID GIRL IN THE WORLD ..kaya di bale nalang akin na lang yun....inilibing ko na yun sa hukay...and i do really hope magiging ok na kami ng bestfriend ko..i mean sana maging stable na ulit heart namin gaya ng dati..ung wala pa ung mga walang kwentang lalaki sa buhay namin...

may 26,2007 JETSO Summer Fest

tha day has come....JETSO SUMMER FEST NAH!! eto na ung event na pinaghahandaan namin ng mga officer..since baguhan palang ako at di ko pa alam ang pwedeng mangyari at president pa ako..pressure talaga..pero naging successful naman ung mga event..meron nga lang mga bagay na sumabit but as a whole ok ang summerfest..
kaso umiyak ako sa galit kasi may mga salita ako kay bro. mark na di ko natupad...at nagflashback ang galit ko sa ex ko kasi ganun xa na tao..and ayoko maging ganun ako..ung papunta palang nga ako eh may mga question na sa mind ko whatif di ako tumawag sa kanya kami pa kaya hanggang ngayon??ako parin ba kaya ang pinagsasabihan niya ng iloveyou at di ung bagong gf niya ngayon???mga tanong na nagpapagulo s aheart and mind ko...but i have to omir those questions..kaya ang sinasabi ko nalang ngayon sa sarili ko enough reason na yung mas pinili niya nag kanyang mga friends over me..at tama xa iba ako sa mga kaibigan niya,,ngayon alam lo na ang meaning nun...ma mataas ung level ng love niya for his friends that i...unfaire diba????un kuay umiyak ako sa harap ni te april sa harap ni bro mark...pero di kao umiyak sa best freind ko kasi napagdadaraanan niya ngayon ang mga nangyayari sa akin before..and she's doing the same mistake na ginawa ko..keso kagaya nga talaga siya sa akin..ayaw rin makinig ang tigas tigas ng ulo..but because of her sa mga nangyayari sa kanya ngayon...narerealyse ko na dahan dahan na ang tanga tanga ko pala nun..at kung gagawin ko ang dinidikta ngayon ng aking puso masasabi ko na talaga I AM THE MOST STUPID GIRL IN THE WORLD ..kaya di bale nalang akin na lang yun....inilibing ko na yun sa hukay...and i do really hope magiging ok na kami ng bestfriend ko..i mean sana maging stable na ulit heart namin gaya ng dati..ung wala pa ung mga walang kwentang lalaki sa buhay namin...

Friends make me strong...

people say that i am strong..na para bang di ako apektado sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ko...na di raw ako nasasaktan....
honestly...ang mga taong nagsasabi ng ganun di pa talaga nila ako kilala..kung sa nasasaktan man lang ang pag.uusapan..sobra sobra na ang sakit na nafifeel ko.. i cant deny the fact na umiiyak ako.lalo pa nung bago lang kami nagbreak ni arnel.ang sakit sa dibdid..kaw ba naman magkaroon ng boyfriend almost one year and four month???diba nakakapanibago lalo na ang babaw ng reason ng break up..well oo naman i want him back kasi mahal ko pa xa pero dumating na ako sa punto wala na akong makita na reason para ipaglaban xa kasi from the start pinaglaban ko na siya sa mga magulang ko..well now its over..i have learned that in every battle in life you must learn where and when to surrender...like those brave soldiers ryt???who accept defeats and triumph in life???ang tagal ko rin bago yan natutunan kung pano maging ganyan pero ngayon nagising na ako...
people also says na magkakabalikan pa rin kami ni arnel... tapos tinatanong pa nila ako what if raw bumalik ulit sa akin si arnel? ano ba raw ang gagawin ko???di ako makasagot kasi sa ngayon ang alam ko siya pa rin ang nasa puso ko..korni noh??taz ang labas pa ang tanga tanga ko..pero totoo yan...and i dont want na magsalita ng tapos kasi kapag ako ang nagbigay ng salita tinutupad ko talaga....
ok..back to my friends..to my friends who are supporting me makes me smile and laugh everytime i feel down..to my friends who gives me encouragements in life..thank you very much...you are making me feel stronger and braver than before...
thanks a lot.....
to arnel?????when ayoko sa mga taong mapresyo....grrrhh...kala mo kung sino ang lakas pa ng loob na deadmahin ako sa simbahan...grrrrrhhhh...i hate him.!!!!!

new friend for a new school year

new friend??? yes i havr his name is louie..actually classmate na kami nyan last sem pah..kaso we are not given the chance na mas maging close friends kasi mas naging close ako kay eldie and now classsmate kming tatlo ulit..kaya nakiapgfriend ako k louie to know him better...nagstart yung friendship namn nung nakikita ko si louie na tumitingin sa akin sa akin wala lang yun niloloko ko pa nga xa eh na wag xa tumingin sa akin baka mainlove siya.sama ko noh????hahahaha taz un nga naging close friends kaming dalawa..taz di ko namalayan na nagseselos na pala si ading..sabi nga nila insensitive raw kasi ako...well honestly aware ako dun...but ayoko munang gumawa ng move saweakness kong un...nakakapagod na kasing maging sensitive lagi na lang akong nasasaktan kaya ngaun ako muna ang iisipin ko...di muna ang iba...ang drama tuloy torn between two lovers...charrr..dapat nga maging used nako nito kasi ung x boyfriend ko na si arnel ganito rin namn ung naging sitwaxin namin eh.mas una akong nagustuhan ng bestfriend niya kesa sa kanya kaso ang nagustuhan ko si arnel hindi yung bestfriend noya taz naging kami ni arnel pero bat di nagkaroon ng gap ung friendship nila di tulad ng ngayon..hay naku ewan anggulo

all alone????

haaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy....life for me is not as colorful as it before..i miss the person who used to hug me and makes silly thing just to make me laugh and smile een if i were too tired from school and work...i wish as i take the journey of my life with out him i can be use of living with out him and having my life on my own.be a brave girl than before..and also being a better person than before...i cant deny the fact that i do miss him up to this time..but i needed to face the reality that it is already over. that we need to take our destiny separately...i dont know what may happen in the future but i wish i could find someone who is worthy for my love and will never leave me.someone that will take good care of my heart and will be mine forever..perhaps my future husband.hehehe

all alone????

haaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy....life for me is not as colorful as it before..i miss the person who used to hug me and makes silly thing just to make me laugh and smile een if i were too tired from school and work...i wish as i take the journey of my life with out him i can be use of living with out him and having my life on my own.be a brave girl than before..and also being a better person than before...i cant deny the fact that i do miss him up to this time..but i needed to face the reality that it is already over. that we need to take our destiny separately...i dont know what may happen in the future but i wish i could find someone who is worthy for my love and will never leave me.someone that will take good care of my heart and will be mine forever..perhaps my future husband.hehehe

journey away from home

it was April 28, 2007 when i decided to go to Compostella Valley to be particular in Mawab.it tooks me 6 hours of travelling by land. i was going all alone but decided to go to my bestfriend's house (Pauline house) to ask permission that i will be leaving. as i was waiting in the terminal someone texted me i am not supposed to read that message but i dont know what force pursue to read me that message. as i read the message it came from Pauline telling that she will be going with me.so we did. as i was in the bus, my tears falls down from my eyes...i have a difficulty of leaving my memories in there. "my memories with arnel" because i do still love him..but i have to face the reality that he cant never be mine forever..i know i am so stupid of still loving him but that true.i do really. anyways as we arrived in DAvao we went to SM to buy some presence to my beloved friends here in GENSAN..also for auntie Arlene and Uncle Romy...around to 2pm i met my cousins john and stephen.they had grown up well and became a very handsome young man.specially stephen..i never thought he would grew like that.at around 5pm we decided to go to Mawab.we arrived there at around 8pm. a day after Pauline and i went to TAgum City to have some strolling and to send her in the terminal because i will be going home on the 1st of may. after she left i have to come back to Mawab all alone. there, i have a great bondings with my 2 boys cousin. we sleep in the same bedroom and bed.there no mallis there..hehehe dont know the spelling. and the thing is i never expected that they are going to kneel in front of me just because i get mad to them...y? because they are pointing one another who would be going with me to buy isaw..i got irritated and went up upstairs..there they both kneeled in front of me.i did not feel that i should be flattered about that but i feel so embarrased and sad..embarrased in the sense that i am not worthy to be kneeled by them..sad in the sense that i remember arnel who also deed the same thing..haaay.... well that life....
may 1 2007 has come and have to go home..honestly i dont want to go home but because of school i have to go back in the reality..i have a suitor there who will be waiting for me..but i had promised myself i would be resting for one year of having a boyfriend..it do really hurt me a lot..its my first time to fall in love as deep as i feel towards arnel....well that over as i am in the bus going to davao i got irritated because other JETSO officer are already texting me about that summer party...and as i arrived in DAvao and take my ride going back to gensan i have a very handsome seatmate/..i didnot ask his name but he was nice to me.we talk a lot shared his life .....haay that sad thing we will never meet again......
i missed stephen he is the one who really cares and comfort me there....he hugs me everytime i feel sad and feels like i am going to cry again..how i wish he is here with me

ApriL 26, 2007 @ arnels house

in the office i got busy..afraid not to keep my promise to arnel's parents..i arrived in their house at around 7pm and great thing is wala pa si arnel..we talk a lot na para bang walang nangyari sa amin ni arnel..syanga pala ang kausap ko ay sina uncle romy and auntie arlene and of course ang bdaycelebrant na si sheila na ate ni arnel..hanggang dumating na si arnel..well deadma ihinahayaan ko lang xa palakad lakad sa bahay nila total hindi naman akin ang bahay na iyon.taz si auntie arlene ewan kung ano ang nakain at tinutukso pa kaming dalawa ni arnel..anyway the most flattering in that part nung sinabihan ako ni sheila na ang dady nila arnel ay kiinukulit na si sheila na itext na ako kasi nag.aalala na raw siya tapos ung mother naman ni arnel sinabihan ako ng "akala ko cel ba di ka na pupunta..kaya nga di pa ako umaalis kasi hinihintay kita.."oh diba???astig ang beauty ko..hehehe hinitay talaga ako ng nanay niya...
awki baxk to arnel na nang umalis na si auntie papunta sa bar nila..si arnel ay nag.iisa sa tulong ni sheila nag-kausap kaming dalawa ni arnel taz dun nag.offer na lang ako ng friendship kasi naman ang sayang ng pinagsamahan namin.,,dba??oh see ang bait ko noh??Ako pa yung nag.offer ng friendship taz nakipagshakehands pa nga ako as a sign of my sportmanship..una tinanggihan niya taz matapos kong magsalita tinanggap niya rin taz niyakap namin ang isat-isa for the last time...then un nah..ok na ang lahat para sa araw na ito